"My mom died when I was 3. Honestly, I don’t even remember her. Just some vague images and her singing at my lullaby. I lived with my dad in a typical «bachelor pad» as my grandma called our apartment. She took care of me while dad was at work. My grandma was the mother if my mother. She told me different stories about my family life before the tragedy.
One of them once even told me to live with my grandma not to embarrass her. But my dad said if she didn’t accept his son she didn’t accept him. Of course, they broke up.
Anyway, there were only me and my father until I was 10. My dad is a very good man. He had a well-paid job and didn’t have any bad habits. We lived happily: we went fishing, watched football, did homework together, he taught me some things… so, no problems at all.
But when I was 10, Natalie appeared in our life. Actually, dad wasn’t hiding his feelings and I did not care. But honestly, my grandma and I were surprised a little. The thing was that she was only 18. She was closer to me by her age rather than to my dad who was 40.
But she was a very nice girl and she truly loved my dad. Natalie never tried to become a mother to me. At the same time she was not abusing me like it usually happens with the stepchildren in fairy-tales. Natalie just cared about me as much as she did about my dad. We played a lot together because she was not far from me in her age.
We always had some fun! She would take me to an amusement park and take rides with me. We played all kinds of cool games. She even took me to the «role-games». That’s when the grown-ups dress up in some characters and act out some scenes from books or movies. It was amazingly fun! Yeah, I loved my grandma and I adored my father, but I've never had such fun before. I loved Natalie sincerely as my adult friend or even my older sister.
But when I grew up, I saw her as quite an attractive and good-looking woman. She loved my dad a lot and she treated me like her brother. But now she was a woman to me. Things got really hard when I was 16.
No, she didn't go around the house in a short robe or something. She was very decent. But my decency somehow ended. Sometimes I would even spy on her in her bedroom or in a shower. Yeah, it's terrible, but my teenage hormones made all things worse.
One day I realised I was madly jealous of her with my dad. Because she kissed him, she went to bed with him, and I had just common family touchings. It was awful! Why was she so beautiful? There were a lot of pretty girls around me… But Natalie was also smart, funny, interesting and completely perfect. And of course, she would never regard me as a man.
I tried to spend less time at home. I took some classes, trainings, tutors… I even started boxing to forget this wrong feeling. My dad praised me, thinking I was growing up and I would have a good future… and I just didn't want to hurt them both.
I even got a girlfriend. She was pretty and cheerful. But I quickly realised that I did not even feel 25% of feelings I had to Natalie. And she was always with my dad. But what tortured me even more - they announced one day that they’re going to have a baby. She was beautiful even when she was pregnant. I could hardly even breathe when I saw her.
Of course, I didn't tell anyone. I moved out of our apartment as soon as possible, saying I am a student now and I want to live alone. I even had to move to another city to forget my feelings.
Now I'm trying to deal with my dreams. I study, I have some friends, but I still can’t deal with girls. However, I try.
You know, love is like a sickness. And there is no cure. I wish I could say it’s a beautiful feeling, but I couldn’t. It’s not always like that".
video phone beyonce mp3 I FELL IN LOVE with my STEPMOTHER | |
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Film & Animation | Upload TimePublished on 15 Aug 2019 |
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